Parenting and Apologizing

Being a dad is the toughest job I’ve ever had. We want to do everything right and set a good example for our kids, but sometimes we mess up. It’s then when we need to remember the power of an apology. Well, a sincere apology.

Apologizing is important. It forces us to acknowledge we are human, we make mistakes, and we can and should be accountable for our actions. It allows us to model owning our shortcomings. and that as long as we can own up to our errors, our kids see that it’s okay to make mistakes. When we apologize, we’re teaching our kids to be honest and take responsibility for their actions, too.

Apologizing also helps us build trust with our kids. It shows them that we care about their feelings and that we’re willing to work to make things better. And when there’s a conflict, apologizing is the first step towards finding a solution. The challenge is that there has to actually be a solution.

But just saying “sorry” isn’t enough. It also involves a degree of behavioral change with a meaningful effort towards preventing the same mistakes from happening again. Apologizing is an ongoing process, not a one-time event. Not only do we need to say we are sorry, but we demonstrate that by making an effort to change.

I know it can be hard to admit when we’re wrong, especially to our kids. But it’s important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. We can help our kids understand why we’re apologizing and give them the time and space they need to process their feelings. It might be even more mucky if whatever you “did” was in response to something hurtful your child did. Two wrongs don’t make a right, as the old saying goes, and all you can really control is yourself.

So, let’s remember that apologizing is an important part of being a good dad. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it in the end. Your kids may not accept your apology directly, and that may be part of the consequence of making a mistake. Be real, own your errors, try to fix them, and work on continually trying to make yourself better. Life, especially parenting, is about growth and learning. Embrace the learning opportunity, no matter how difficult, and make yourself a better parent/dad.

Relearnign WordPress

It used to be so simple.

Create a new WordPress install, add one of the themes, and they were simple to adjust, manipulate, and adapt.

Now. Not so much. H’m playing with Hello, and Elementor was supposed to make it easier, not so much. I just want to be able to easily structure the blog page and add some static pages for particular purposes. Nothing major, but man. Seems you now need a degree in coding and CSS to make these things work correctly.


A hard lesson

This image reflects a rather challenging set of life lessons regarding conflict. So often, when we engage in some kind of dispute, we center our argument on only our own thoughts and issues. Being able to understand and articulate the perspective of someone with whom we are having conflict typically means we are more invested in our own perspective than resolving the issue. It’s a hard lesson to learn.

Similarly, when we hear others speak of their conflicts, when they are always the victim and never able to fully articulate their role beyond “I really don’t know…” we should be suspicious of them. Not only of how they “do” conflict but what they expect from us by sharing their one-sided narratives.

Owing our stuff is hard. It’s an ongoing human development process. But when we can and do own our role in whatever conflicts we find ourselves in, we are a lot closer to resolution than when we are all about shame and blame.

Guess whose back?

It’s been a while. I finally had to drop Bluehost, after they messed up my domain and sight so many times it was unbelievable. Also, their bait and switch pricing plans were a bit too much for me to deal with anymore. That said, years of blogging, writing, images, and data were lost because my sight kept getting hacked and having viruses. By the time I realized what was going on, my WordPress install was gone. There were years of posts on that install and they were unrecoverable. 

Ultimately, what Bluehost wanted was to upsell me on a plan that included “security” – but after shopping around, I found several hosting sites that cost less and include security as part of the package. That’s become their routine – get you in at some tier that lasts a few years, raise the price radically on that tier when it’s time to renew, and try to upsell you around every corner. The worst part was that they used to have stellar support, but now, not so much. Support has been non-existent, non-responsive, and utterly unhelpful. 

So I’ve moved to SetraHost and am happy. They are well priced, support is timely, they include security, and are transparent as all get out re: how things work. It took a while for me to narrow down my options. I did so based on responsiveness, transparency, reviews, and cost. Happy to be where I am and happy to be back around. Just wish I still had all of my old posts and data.