This image reflects a rather challenging set of life lessons regarding conflict. So often, when we engage in some kind of dispute, we center our argument on only our own thoughts and issues. Being able to understand and articulate the perspective of someone with whom we are having conflict typically means we are more invested in our own perspective than resolving the issue. It’s a hard lesson to learn.
Similarly, when we hear others speak of their conflicts, when they are always the victim and never able to fully articulate their role beyond “I really don’t know…” we should be suspicious of them. Not only of how they “do” conflict but what they expect from us by sharing their one-sided narratives.
Owing our stuff is hard. It’s an ongoing human development process. But when we can and do own our role in whatever conflicts we find ourselves in, we are a lot closer to resolution than when we are all about shame and blame.